Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
