with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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