Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
