plz talk dirty to me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
