Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
