Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
