I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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