bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got inside last night via doggy door
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
