Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
In America we eat man semen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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