So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
