How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She said her name was "party"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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