Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't turn off my feet"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
