I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
