i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
