Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
