CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
