We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
