i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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