Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize