like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
