Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
