Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
