you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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