I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
