glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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