My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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