he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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