my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize