I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
