just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He better not be in your backpack
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
