STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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