I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
