if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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