Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
