did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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