look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
