I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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