i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
