It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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