there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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