Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
