Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
