the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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