hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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