I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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