I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
