Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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