I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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