I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
