I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
