quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just forgot I was standing up.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
