I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
