just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
