Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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