This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
