can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
