i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
