i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
