My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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