1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
