I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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