I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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