My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
