whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
