I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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