I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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