Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
