btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish you could order shots online.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
