i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
