I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize