Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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