my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
