all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just had sex bonerless
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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