do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
