I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
