please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize