Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
