Dual....:-)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
