my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
