Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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