does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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