does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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