dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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