Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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